Not another apologetic post from an absentee blogger

I'm a flake.
You should be used to it.
I'm over it.

On to bigger & better things...which today consists of movies that scarred me as a child.

In my youth my parents closely monitored everything I consumed....food, tv shows, music & movies. Due to this, I find now that I am the one monitoring what I consume I tend to indulge in everything that my parents told me not to. I'm a badass like that.

As an adult I have developed an appreciation of horror movies...especially the really terrible ones (see: Zombie Strippers, Teeth). Despite the best attempts of my parental units, there were a couple of movies that I somehow managed to slip past their watchful eyes. I have re-watched these movies as a grown-up (I use that term loosely) and have come to realize that they are really & truly, quite terrible....but as a child they scared the pants off me. So badly in fact, that I believe they have left me scarred for life.

And now for your reading pleasure I give you exhibit A: Tremors

What the shit was this movie about....seriously? Giant worm things that lived underground & could pop out anywhere and gobble you up. For a little girl who spent a majority of her time with her feet on the ground, this was terrifying. And I didn't even have Kevin Bacon to save me. I mean, look at these things:

Not pretty.

And even though I was never a small child, I am quite certain that a "graboid" could swallow me whole. Shit, they probably still could. And because of this I am fairly certain I will never visit the desert. It may also explain my love of swingsets & climbing things.


Now on to Exhibit B: Arachnophobia

Before I watched this movie, I was not afraid of spiders. Afterwards, the same could not be said. To be honest, up until recently I was unable to deal with spiders invading my personal space without screaming (now, I am pleased to announce that I can in fact squish my own spiders very calmly....and then freak out about it afterwards like the little girl I am).

Yeah. Pretty much.

And the strangest part about it is that I wasn't really afraid of being bitten & dying (as is the plot of the film), but more of being spun up in a giant web & having my insides sucked out (as real spiders do to their prey)....at least I was a well-informed & scientifically factual paranoid child. Or maybe I just watched too many nature shows.

So in conclusion, the moral of the story is that perhaps my parents were right in sheltering me from things that were "too scary" for me as a child. Turns out that the ramifications of such things can be long standing. Just don't tell them I said so, ok?

....And without any futher adieu

Oh hi.
Apparently I have a blog. No shit.

It appears I haven't posted in about 3, 4 months? So what's happened you ask? Not a whole heck of alot.

I finished this semester...let's not talk about it. I'm still working at the University...that's pretty cool. I turned 26......25 is so last year (My friends really went above & beyond this year...I will post pics soon). I cut off half of my hair and pierced my neck (no kiddin). Went to go see The Hip with my Papabear this week which was pretty awesome & plan on seeing NIN/Jane's Addicition and Bif Naked in June, Rancid/Rise Against/St. Alvia Cartel & Warped Tour in July. Summer concerts make me happy in mine pantaloons.

Other than that it's been more of the same....work, hangin with my homies, floating from one day to the next. I am the epitome of underachiever.

How sad is it when your own life bores you? It' not that anything particularly bad has happened....but nothing good has either. I do get the distinct feeling that something is on the horizon....something big & exciting. Maybe it's just wishful thinking....but here's hoping.

Look At Me, Silly Me, I'm As Happy As Can Be

No, really. I'm just as surprised as you are.

I'm not going to apologize for not being on top of my blog anymore. I am sooooo super crazy busy funtimes that this is the first thing I will let slip if something's gotta slip. I love blogging but this shit don't pay the bills, or get me A's in school.

So far this semester has been fabulous. I'm working all the time, I'm doing well in my classes and I even joined the gym (no shit!). Add in a light sprinkling of activities social in nature and overall, this chick is quite pleased with herself. For the first time in a looong time I feel productive & content.

I feel like myself again....and I remember why I like me. Mostly because I'm friggin awesome. I love my friends, my family.....my life in general right now. Sometimes it's stressful, but I've got a pretty good grip on things....and that counts for so much.

I Have Conquered The Winter!!

Yeah, you heard me. Winter is my bitch.

Typically Winter & I do not get along. I don't really enjoy being cold....or wet.....or effin' COLD. I usually spend most of the winter indoors trying to solve the puzzle of human hibernation. Until now.

This winter in the Niagara region we have been blessed (ha!) with copious amounts of snow. You can say that I was less than pleased....at first. This blustery winter season I have come to appreciate it, or at least fight back. This battle has been epic and ongoing for 25 years now, and every year winter kicks my ass. This year the tables have turned, winter! Take that!

It started innocently at first....walking to the corner store in a snow storm to avoid driving. Then it escalated after pushing SEVERAL cars out of snow drifts. What happens next is no less than earth shattering....

Yesterday night.....I went for a hike. In the snow. And it was MY idea. No shit.

I'm just as shocked as you are, but it looked so nice with the ankle-deep snow & the big fluffy flakes falling slowly....it was hypnotic. I had a blast. Once I started hiking I was going full tilt....up hills, down hills, through thickets....over fallen trees...and even falling in the snow while ascending a particularly steep slope. It was cold, but I didn't mind.

So bring it on winter.....I'm ready for you this time. You can huff & puff & blow the snow down, but it's not going to keep me cooped up inside. I've got far too much exploring to do.

No, It Didn't Hurt Too Much When I Fell Off The Face Of The Earth

I'm a bad, bad blogger.

It's been almost ten days since my last post....but I have been sooooo busy. I'm back in class, and I'm working like a slave child so you will have to forgive my absence. Things should be back to normal after next week. I think.

Then again, my life as of late has been an ongoing process of trying to "get back to normal". Well, normal for me anyways. But I am starting to feel like myself again....and that's awesome.

The bad news is, I haven't really given much thought to an actual post for this topic....so it's basically just a quick "Hey! Happy new year! Don't worry, I'm still alive!" I do have a couple cool ideas rolling around for future posts though....so stay tuned!

Maybe When We're Done With Endings This Can Begin

And so 2008 comes to a close. Well, it's been....interesting.

It's been a journey through the highest of highs, as well as the lowest of lows. There are memories I hope I'll never forget....and some that I wish I could.

There is one thing that I have found myself thinking about repeatedly lately, and that is how lucky I am. In my life I have been fortunate enough to meet some incredible people...and I am proud to call these fine folks my friends & family.

It's funny how hardship can make you appreciate the support systems in your life.

I know I'm not the most affectionate person...I don't hug as often as I should. I don't generally cuddle with people unless I'm really comfortable with them. Even then, from time to time I find myself feeling uncomfortable without having a real reason. Maybe I have intimacy issues. Well, I suppose we can just throw that one on top of my existing pile of issues.

I guess what I'm trying to say is how grateful I am. I love you guys...a whole crapload. I don't want to even imagine where or what I would be if I did not have you all in my life. Thanks for sticking it out with me...this year & the years previous too.

Hopefully I haven't pissed you all off too much this year so that we can make some fantastic new memories in 2009. Here's to the rest of this year, and all the best in the new one.

I'm Not Broken...

I'm not broken.

It may appear to you that I'm flawed....that somewhere along the line someone or something damaged me. This might be true, but it doesn't mean I'm broken.

I'm not broken.

I might not be perfect....I make mistakes, and tend to repeat them. I may from time to time make things harder than they need to be, but it doesn't mean I'm broken.

I'm not broken.

I'm not as happy as I used to be....but I'm not as sad as I know I can be. Time and experience have taught me how to numb my pain. I hurt, but it doesn't mean I'm broken.

I'm not broken.

I seem to be a pet project that you say you are trying to fix, but your actions always make things worse. You beat yourself up, painting yourself as the martyr...but it still doesn't make me broken.

Even if I was, I wouldn't need you to fix me. I can fix myself.....

But I'm not broken.