Oh how I loathe & detest the holiday season.
Why? Well, try & visit a mall in the next couple days....or even driving in the relative proximity of one. It took a half an hour to drive my grandmother to the grocery store yesterday. I could have walked there in about ten minutes. If it were up to me I would have said screw the whole thing, but starving grandmothers without groceries is not what the holiday season is about.
It's about sharing joy & peace with your fellow man, right? Tell that to the shoppers who seem to have not only forgotten about courtesey, but also your basic rules of the road. Let me tell you how peaceful & joyful I felt....with a honk of my horn & an obscene gesture.
The holiday season is definitely about the birth of Christ, right? Let's pretend I'm not agnostic for the sake of arguement...I still seem to get lost somewhere between a baby being born a looooong time ago in a desert and some jolly fat man committing a million b&e's the same night every year (How the hell does he get away with it? You think someone would have caught on by now. That bastard always eats all my cookies, EVERY DAMN YEAR). And then there is the copious amounts of alcohol, food, and material goods. I may be misinformed, but I'm pretty sure Jesus was anti-gluttony & consumerism. But then again it's been a while since we've been on speaking terms, so maybe his opinion has changed.
On the most basic level the holiday season is being with the people you love. Well, once the stress of dressing up & running around town in attempt to see eveyone I've ever met has passed, all I really want to do is nap my way into the new year. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends & family with all my heart....but I make a solid effort to show them that consistantly. It's alot of pressure to find that one gift that perfectly reflects the feelings you should be expressing throughout the year....and am I the only person that finds this practice a little shallow & materialistic?
So call me what you will....a Grinch....a Scrooge...but I'm not going to be apologetic. Chrismas music generally makes me want to projectile vomit and don't even get me started about the ridiculous snow we've been having. So if you see me, friends, be wary...I may look pleasant on the outside but one false move & I swear I'll snap like the wishbone from your festive turkey.
On that note, Happy Holidays all....this year you're getting my favourite anti-holiday song. Hey, it beats coal.
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